The most underrated health is mental health, we give physical health more importance than our mental wellbeing. How well we are psychologically, emotionally will determine how we worship and get closer to our Maker. It also determines how we manage daily life stresses and challenges, which is inevitable.
Mental health encompasses emotional, psychological, and social well-being. It influences our thoughts, cognition, perception, feelings and actions/behavior. Our mental health influences how we see ourselves, our Maker and the relationships in our life. It also determines how an individual handles stress (coping skills), interpersonal relationships, problem solving and decision-making. It’s been able to think, feel and respond in a way that we need to in order for us to live and function as the best version of ourselves.
This world is full of tests as revealed in the following Surahs:
1. Surah Baqarah: 155 “And We will surely test you with something of fear and hunger and loss of wealth and lives and fruits, but give good tidings to the patient.
156. Those who, when disaster strikes them, say, “Indeed we belong to Allah, and indeed to Him we will return.”
157. Those are the ones upon whom are blessings from their Lord and mercy. And it is those who are he rightly guided.
2. Surah Ankabut: 2 “Do the people think that they will be left to say, “We believe”‘ and they will not be tried?
3: But We have certainly tried those before them, and Allah will surely make evident those who are truthful, and He will surely make evident” the liars.
3. Surah Mulk: He who created death and life to test you as to which of you is best in deed and He is the Exalted in Might, the Forgiving.
From the above verses, it is evident that trials, challenges in life are inevitable, everyone must be tried. Where we differ is each person’s trial is different from that of the other, and our ability to cope is what makes the difference. Any trial that takes you closer to Allah is actually a blessing and any trial that takes you farther from Allah is a curse.
Problems arise for us when we feel the need to control others or certain situations in our lives and that of others. As individuals, we can only control our affairs and that to a certain level, based on our decisions and life choices we make at different phases of our lives. The moment we try to control other people’s thoughts, feelings or actions, that’s when we have issues, we cannot control anyone, we can only influence them and to a certain extent.
Situations will happen, people will hurt you and that is because it is all part of the trials in life. When an event occurs, we experience everything through our thoughts, and we interpret the events by giving them meanings, these meanings are based on who we are (our background), our tarbiyyah, environment we grew up and individual significant emotional experiences. Where the problem is, sometimes, the problem is not the actual problem, it is the way we look at the problem that is the problem, and this is based on our background. Whenever we are unable to manage (cope) with the events (situations) that occurs in our lives, we become stressed.
Stress, depression and anxiety can make it difficult for us to carry out our normal daily activities.
Why Do We Feel Stressed, Depressed And Anxious And Where Do They Originate?
They all originate from our thought system. We have about 70k thoughts in a day, and that’s a lot and enough to make us stressed, depressed or anxious. Nothing means anything but our thinking makes it so. It’s not the situation we experience that makes us feel the way we feel, it’s thinking about those experiences that makes us feel a certain way (stressed, depressed or anxious).
Stressful thoughts makes us stressed (overwhelmed, unable to cope). Depressive thoughts makes us depressed (thoughts about unpleasant past events) for example: why me? Why did so so person do that to me? Why did I have to go through those past experiences? Etc. continuous dwelling on the past events will only make you depressed. Realize that when you continue that way, you are holding yourself captive like a prisoner and you would not enjoy your life. You need to let go, forgive yourself of your past mistakes, and forgive others for what they have done to you, pardon and move on with your life so that you are happy and able to worship your Maker as you should. Depression will make it impossible to actually be happy and worship appropriately.
Anxious thoughts makes us anxious (worried about the future, what is yet to happen). For example: what will happen if… how can I get money to pay for… Etc. Realize that, you don’t know whether that thing you are worried about may not even happen the way you expect it, you need to trust Allah, do your best and don’t think negatively of Allah and the end result, tie your camel (do your best) and have Tawakkul (absolute trust) that Allah will take care of you and your affairs.
Whatever situation we are experiencing, we are experiencing it through our thoughts. If we change the way we think, then we will experience it differently. Everyone experiences sadness, stress, anxiety, loss of control; we only differ in the level of intensity of our emotions and our coping mechanisms.When we rely upon our intellectual thinking, trying to figure out how to solve our problems, trying to search intellectually for the answers, we get stressed and anxious.
According to a research, Stress is the no. 1 cause of all diseases (about 80% of the cause of all diseases). E.g. Cancer, high blood pressure etc. Anxiety is as a result of lack of tranquility or balance in life, hence the root cause of all Mental Health disorders.
So what is the Solution?
The moment we realize that Allah does not burden a soul with what it cannot bear:
Surah Baqarah: 286 “Allah does not charge a soul except with that within its capacity. It will have the consequence of what good it has gained, and it will bear the consequence of what evil it has earned”… then we are all ok.
The past is gone and we can’t do anything about it, we can’t change it, what we cannot control, we release, let it go, forgive, pardon and overlook (cure for depression).
The future is yet to come, we don’t know what will happen, only Allah knows what will happen, it’s not in your control, it’s in Allah’s perfect control, He will take care of things for us, Tie your camel and have Tawakkul, total reliance on Allah, focus on the present and be grateful (cure for anxiety).
Allah is in control, whatever happens or not is according to the Qadr of Allah.
Whatever is meant to happen to you was never meant to miss you.
Whatever doesn’t happen was never meant to happen to you.
What to Do When You Are Feeling Stressed and Anxious?
1. Focus on the present and ask yourself, what am I meant to be doing right now to please Allah? That is how to enjoy your life and live happy, that has been my secret and many others, despite going through challenges in our individual lives.
2. Focus on gratitude, be grateful to Allah for your life, health, children, spouse, family, income, roof over your head, sanity and etc. others are deprived of so many things you are blessed with.
Allah says in Surah Ibrahim: 7 “And remember when your Lord proclaimed, ‘If you are grateful, I will surely increase you in favor, but if you deny, & indeed, my punishment is severe”!
Research has shown that, gratitude is the key to happiness, Subhanallah! This has been revealed to us in the Qur’an for over 1400 years before the westerners realized that. Alhamdulillah.
Life is all about choices, making decisions of what to do and what not to do.
In any situation you find yourself, choose what pleases Allah.
If you have 2 choices of halal and haram, choose Halal.
If you have 2 Halal choices, chose the one that is better and most pleasing to Allah.
3. Be patient! Allah has continuously mentioned in the Qur’an, the virtues of the patient ones and has also, told us how to seek patience in Surah Baqarah: 153 “O you who have believed, seek help through patience and prayer, Indeed Allah is with the patient”.
On the authority of Abu Abbas Abdullah bin Abbas (may Allah be pleased with him) who said:
One day I was behind the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) [riding on the same mount] and he said, “O young man, I shall teach you some words [of advice]: Be mindful of Allah and Allah will protect you. Be mindful of Allah and you will find Him in front of you. If you ask, then ask Allah alone; and if you seek help, then seek help from Allah [alone]. And know that if the nation were to gather together to benefit you with anything, they would not benefit you except with what Allah had already prescribed for you. And if they were to gather together to harm you with anything, they would not harm you except with what Allah had already prescribed against you. The pens have been lifted and the pages have dried.” It was related by at-Tirmidhi, who said it was a good and sound hadeeth. Another narration, other than that of Tirmidhi, reads: Be mindful of Allah, and you will find Him in front of you. Recognize and acknowledge Allah in times of ease and prosperity, and He will remember you in times of adversity. And know that what has passed you by and you have failed to attain was not going to befall you, and what has befallen you was not going to pass you by. And know that victory comes with patience, relief with affliction, and hardship with ease.
Steps That Help:
• Continuous recitation of Amanar Rasul “Our Lord. Do not impose blame upon us if we have “forgotten or erred. Our Lord. And lay not upon us a burden like that which You laid upon those before us. Our Lord, and burden us not with that which we have no “ability to bear. And pardon us; and forgive us; and have mercy upon us. You are our protector, so give us victory over the disbelieving people”.
In a Hadith Qudsi, Allah SWT said:
“I am as My servant thinks of me, and I’m with him whenever he calls upon Me”! Think only the best of Allah.
• Understand that it’s all in your thoughts
• Mindfulness practice (being aware)
• Breath work
• Exercise
• Rest and relax
• Don’t be too hard on yourself, be kind and have compassion on yourself and then to others.
• Gratitude what are you grateful for? Look at those who have less than you in worldly things and those who are more than you in the matters of the Deen.
• Do things that make you happy (only Halal)
• Tawakkul (absolute reliance on Allah)
• Zikr: Allah SWT mentioned in Surah Taha: 124 “Wa man a’arada an zikri fa inna lahu ma’ishatan danka, wa nahshuruhu yaumal qiyamati a’ama (and he who turns away from my remembrance, his life will indeed become narrow/sorrow/sad, and we shall raise him blind on the day of resurrection)”.
• Surah Ra’ad:28 “Allazina aamanu wa tatmainnu qulubuhum bi zikrillah, Ala bi zikrillahi tatmainnul (those who believe and whose hearts gets peace/comfort in remembrance of Allah, for indeed hearts find rest/peace/comfort/satisfaction in the remembrance of Allah”.
• In the book Hisnul-Muslim are beautiful supplications from the Sunnah for worry and sorrow.
1. Allahumma inni abduka ibn abdika ibn amatika, naswiyati bi yadik maadin fiyya hukmuk adlun fiyya qadaa’uk, as’aluka bi kulli ismin huwa lak, sammaita bihi nafsak, aw anzaltahu fi kitabik, aw allantahu ahadan min khalqika, awista’atharta bihi fi ilmil gaibi indak, an taj’alal qur’anal azima rabi’a qalbi wa nura swadri wa jala’a huzni wa zahaaba hammi wa gammi.
2. Allahumma inni a’uzu bika minal hammi wal hazan, wal ajzi wal kasal wal bukhli wal jubni wa dala’id daini wa qahrir rijaal.
3. La ilaha illallahul Azimul haleem, la ilaha illalahu Rabbul Arshil Azim La ilaha illallahu Rabbus samaawaati wa Rabbul ardil wa Rabbul Arshil Kareem.
4. Allahumma rahmataka arju fala takilni ila nafsi tarfata ainin, wa aslihli sha’ani kullahu la ilaha illa Anta.
5. La ilaha illa Anta Subhanaka inni kuntu minazzwalimin.
6. Allahu Allahu Rabby la ushriku bihi shai’a.